How I found My Muchness
An epic epoch by Nikki Payne
Dedicated to my children
Who will probably never understand me however I am sure will understand portions of Love’s written Word.
For they each share my heart, my stubbornness, and their own parts in the finding of My Muchness.
Sabastian, Two, Season, and Nova.
Thank you all for your many lessons in my own eternal growing of Self.
Yay I finally got to be of service today you wouldn’t believe all the bullshit I went through just to get to be of service to others in need it’s crazy when the need is so great and so visible all the things that would try to keep me from being of service so sillyContinue reading “Still I”
Finally someone said yes I can lend my hand tomorrow to help clean up this mess You wouldn’t believe all the silly things that even led me here Samaritans purse what a crazy name for something we hold so dear I’m grateful I’m beyond grateful reeling full of love and hope again and slightly fearfulContinue reading “Along crazy series of fortunate events”
How is it now that I can feel my family in pain as if I were on my period oh ouchie How is it that sometimes my tummy swells up like as if my womb were ready to flush away what wasn’t healthy for it soon How is it that I feel all these phantomContinue reading “The phantom in me”
I didn’t today and although I was offered I didn’t today I said no I didn’t today I didn’t even want to I didn’t today I was offered though I have new eyes and which I see things that others I guess can’t see yet I didn’t today although I was offered I didn’t andContinue reading “I didn’t today”
I hadn’t always been a good listener or been good at sitting still or feeling into my heart to know if what I feel is real but right now in this moment I’m doing all these things I’m sitting still I’m listening and I’m feeling into me To invest in others is inviting me it’sContinue reading “🧠👂💌”
I’ve got love so very much that I can share with all right now not a dollar to my name but we sleep with car running and air on because my dogs deserve it and a little bit I guess so do I cuz my dogs are amazing we said parked with the air onContinue reading “It is we who are rich”
If I went down to the river to pray there came a big old flood today it killed some innocence and left others on the fence but I’m reminded between the Earth and the Sun No more fighting for we have won work to good works it’s all it’s left to say I went downContinue reading “The River kills”
I went to help a disaster relief program he denied me one side I got there so I did what I do and I just kept forging on finding different spots to stop and do what else I do and that’s give my love to people and what I found was people with nothing givingContinue reading “Love through disaster”
I found my miracle they gave me a hug instead of their wife it was beautiful came all the way to this place to be rejected by my original reason think goddess for hearing the pleas 😂 when there’s a fence around a church you don’t want to go in I’ve no idea still whatContinue reading “I found my miracle was already taken”
I smell like piss I just take a shit on the side of the road I don’t have a toothbrush and I’m going to God’s house lol fortunately it’s on goddess it’s land and well I also know I’m loved and appearances unfortunately smells don’t matter well unless of course you keep it up everyContinue reading “Worst first case meeting scenario dating or some shit like that my big brother says”
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